Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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