Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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