My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
should my penis look like a turkey
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
