omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm too high and old for this...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
