You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
