Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
