I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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