She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
