TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
