You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
