Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
