im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
