the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
