So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
