just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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