NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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