I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
did you just send me my own nude
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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