do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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