Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
