I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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