no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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