brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
