she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
