I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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