She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
