is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
