i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
