walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i've created a new STD.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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