There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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