All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My vagina is officially offended.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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