HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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