I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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