I CAN MOONWALK!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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