I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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