i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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