No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
