When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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