Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
