all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
