I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
