Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
