Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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