I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
