This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Congratulations! We have a period
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
