i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
