The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
