Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
why didn't you poke me back
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
