Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
