i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
