I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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